Podcast: Voice of the Void

Welcome back to the Radio of Resistance. First, thank you for being here, for your presence, for being alive, and for following through with the resistance. Second, will we take Mahattan, and then, take on Berlin? Yes, my dearest audience, that we will do in this season of the Radio of resistance. Though we will leave Leonard Cohen behind, he will still remain here in the verses and the lines. If you ask me why, I can only say, Leonard Cohen is the essential force behind the radio due his will to fight and his will to command the resistance, to let every one of the hook besides himself. And thus, he will be a guest on every season of this podcast, from here on out.

So the trailer. What are we going to talk about? What are the stories, the authors, the books, and everything else?

Well, let me tell you a little story.

The other day, as I was dining out with my mother and my friend, I overheard the conversation from the table next to us. You will have to forgive me: The tables at that specific restaurant are only separated by a wooden, see-through windows. And to me, conversations, the ordinary kind, the kind that people have over meals, coffee, and a cigarette, are so precious and pretty.

And like a sad, desolate flower blooms in the harshest winter, the conversation from the next table flowed into me.

I don’t have any feelings left for him. Just like that, the story began.

I don’t have any feelings left for him, she said, Not even the slightest sadness, the slightest worry, the treacherous tears. Nothing.

So you let him go? The other woman said.

What else can I do, the woman continued, When the core of the relationship, the two people that built the foundation for it, don’t care about each other any more?

Have you talked things through with him?

What will it help? She put the chopsticks down, I guess things are just like that. Love caught you and bounded your hands and legs. And when love has had enough of you, it will cut the rope.

So you are free to live for yourself now?

She smiled. I don’t feel any hesitation in her voice. Neither do I feel a tiny shred of happiness. And she said:

You see, it’s not about being free. It’s all about I don’t have any feeling left for him.

The conversation finished. They paid the bills and went out.

I guess you all will wonder, Why this story? Why begin Season 2 with separation and loneliness instead? Why a conversation and not something else? And I guess a song or a quote would do well, of course. And I will be honest with you, I had wanted to use some verses from Eminem’s repertoire.

But the conversation just sticks with me. And by stick with me, I mean it in a literal sense. I always think about conversation like sticky notes. The kind you would put on the fridge to remind you of something, some place, someone. Some memories you made along the way and now that you look back, they are nothing but bittersweet, invisible cloaks of clouds that you can’t touch nor see again.

And I keep reading this sticky note again and again, about the emptiness of a separation, about how the phrase “I don’t have any feelings left for him” was paired with a monotonous voice, void of sadness and desolation. Just a simple statement. A simple fact. A simple of matter where love lets people go, after robbing them off their hearts and their souls.

 And thus, “Voice” will be an important theme for this season.

We use our voice a lot everyday. Sweet voice for the one we hate. Hurtful voice for the one we love. And empty, hollow voice for the pain that is greater than what we care to admit; because once we admit it, we will no longer be the same human.

After all, what use do we have if we are not the same human? And what use do we have if we just stand still there and let the waves crush us? Would the waves cradle us and lull us to a peaceful sleep deep under the ocean, with the waning moon watching over us, like the child we once were?

We will walk through the anger of Eminem’s voice, the loneliness of the snow country in Yasunari Kawabata’s, the walk to the graveyard of regrets and painful solitude in Natsume Soseki’s. And in between them, there will be voices of those we never heard of, those we have heard but we never care more, and those that stay as sticky notes on our fridge.

I don’t know if this can be considered a trailer. I don’t even know if my voice will rise up to match yours. And don’t ever think that your voices don’t matter. In fact, I would love to hear from you. Send me your stories, your conversations, your sadness and fear. Whatever that you want the ocean to wash away, send it to me. My email stays the same, tpdinh@tasteofsmallthings.com.

And while you are at it, if you consider my voice worth a chance to survive the material world, I am urgently in need of donations to maintain the podcast and my work-life balance. If you want to follow my other journey, learning tarot and writing novels, you can be a monthly patron at https://patreon.com/bipolar_psyche. If you don’t want a monthly commitment, you can also dnate at at paypal.me/bipolarpsyche. Send me a message if you donate more than $15 please, so I can do a free tarot reading session for you as a sincere thank you gift from the bottom of my heart.

So, season 2. Let the voice rise up.

I am Thanh Dinh, and you are listening to the Radio of Resistance.

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